Poem from my book, “Not Your Average Sonnet”

I’v been working on my first book of poetry for about two years now, (a collection of satire sonnets) and will be publishing it on the first of February. From one-ply toilet paper to sexually charged obsessions with meat, there’s truly something for everyone. Anyways, I’m going to be sharing a few poems from the book over the course of the next month, and this is one of them.

If you would like to pre-order the book, please visit my Patreon page and select “Become a Patron.” Choose the $10 option, and I will personally sign a copy and ship it to you upon its release.




I’ve made my resolution: get in shape!

New Year, new me      (at least that’s what we think)

I’ll work out five days a week and won’t drink

I’ll stop eat- ooh look              a blueberry crepe!

No wait, I shouldn’t                            I’ll just have a grape

I’ll be responsible, fix the sink

and finally tell Jill about that kink

I’m new and improved, from low I’ve escaped!


One week through, doing swell. Ready for two

but first, a toast          hard work deserves a beer.

Ahhh                                        this would go well with some tiramisu.

Oh screw it I’ll have that pie, too                    no one’s here…

“Oh… hey!       Didn’t know you’d be home so soon!”



Guess I’ll just have to try again next year.


1 Comment

Leave a Reply to Andrea Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s