Poem: Wild Mind

I had an argument

in my mind


about whether it would be easier to kill


with a needle

or a spoon

and I ended up taking the spoon

but I had to specify

because the situation

was too vague


so, specifically

it was between

a standard sewing needle

and a regulation silverware spoon


I had to clarify the situation

which would be a fight

more or less


a standard cross

between a man and a woman

about 5’8” 140 pounds

average strength

and you were in a standard bedroom

with only the weapon of choice

and nothing else

in the room


they have no weapon


and so I decided

even though a standard sewing needle is sharp

it has a very tiny mass

and wielding it

would be

quite dysfunctional

because in order to generate any power

you would have to put pressure on the opposite end

which is also sharp

so you’d be stabbing yourself

while trying to stab the victim

for instance

if you were to place it between your fingers

and up against the palm of your hand

punching for the eyes

you would be hurting your hand

but it wouldn’t be as bad

as stabbing out someone’s eyes

so you’d still be ahead

but the thing is

you’d have to be incredibly accurate

because like I said

a needle is very small

so in reality

it would probably be easier

to spoon out one’s eyes

but you would have to be

pretty strong

for that



the butt-end side of the spoon

has functionality

in this situation

probably more so

than the spoony side

so we’re dealing with a duel weapon here

and it got me thinking

you could probably kill someone

with just about anything

so when I die

I’d like my grave to say

“killed by spoon”

that way

people will appreciate

every moment

when they aren’t getting murdered

with silly objects.


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