7 Days Until Release

On February 7th, my full collection of satire poetry, Not Your Average Sonnet, will be available for $9.97 on Amazon. So, each day leading up to its sweet sweet release, I’ve decided to share a poem from the collection! It’s gonna be a really great time. So much better than your brother-in-laws birthday dinner. Wayyyy better than Karaoke night. Possibly even better than sex. Possibly.

Oh and if you would like a signed copy of the book, all you have to do is visit my Patreon site and sign up to become a $10 patron. Or you can buy it on Amazon and wait til you randomly come across me in public and throw a pen at me from across the room, but I wouldn’t suggest that.

Anyways, here’s a sneak peak into the book. This one is called “Bumper Stickers.”


Bumper Stickers

Rush hour: sticker to sticker traffic

consumes lanes. Political expression

combined with road rage equates to tragic

delays. “My child’s student of the month”

displays proliferate, and no one cares.

Adhesive celebrations of small feats

as low as 13.1 brashly shared

to those who truly do not give a shit.

August alumni tout their zealous pledge

so when they cut you off, at least you’ll know

they went to Stanford, too, before they speed

away. Protective parents make it known


“baby on board.” You were gonna T-bone

them      but there a child lies       so you think again.


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