6 Days Until Release

In just six days, the much anticipated collection of satire poetry, Not Your Average Sonnet, will be available to the public. Until then, I’m releasing a sonnet a day. This one is very special to me, because it’s about drugs, and drugs are fun sometimes.

If you would like a signed copy of the book, simply visit my Patreon page and subscribe as a $10 patron.


Prescription Pills


My parents protect their prescription pills

in places I can’t find    maybe they don’t

trust me, but I’ve got strong detective skills.

I’m thinking they just have some real good shit

and won’t share. Shoot, I’m sure mom’s three Xanax deep

as we speak, chilling harder than stoners

during shark week while dad’s trying to see

if Viagra up his ass will give him a boner.

I bet they even invite grandpa here

to steal his meds. I know that old bastard

still has Quaaludes from the nineteen-sixties.

Worst of ‘em all, though    would have to be grandma


she duped a doctor into giving her

PCP    then threw him in a dumpster.


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