In just six days, the much anticipated collection of satire poetry, Not Your Average Sonnet, will be available to the public. Until then, I’m releasing a sonnet a day. This one is very special to me, because it’s about drugs, and drugs are fun sometimes.
If you would like a signed copy of the book, simply visit my Patreon page and subscribe as a $10 patron.
My parents protect their prescription pills
in places I can’t find maybe they don’t
trust me, but I’ve got strong detective skills.
I’m thinking they just have some real good shit
and won’t share. Shoot, I’m sure mom’s three Xanax deep
as we speak, chilling harder than stoners
during shark week while dad’s trying to see
if Viagra up his ass will give him a boner.
I bet they even invite grandpa here
to steal his meds. I know that old bastard
still has Quaaludes from the nineteen-sixties.
Worst of ‘em all, though would have to be grandma
she duped a doctor into giving her
PCP then threw him in a dumpster.